UPDATE: Here is the link to the post I made on about Tracy. This post is still being commented on.
Sexual Harassment & Assult in Iraq: Tracy Barker’s Story

I received the following email this evening. I have removed the womans email address so that she does not receive unwanted emails. But I wanted people to understand where I stand on this and leave it and me alone I will address issues in this email at the end of this post.

From: Denise Howland
Sent: Wednesday, June 18, 2008 7:14 PM
To:
cindy.morgan@cindyiniraq.com
Subject: Your promotion of your book

Ms. Morgan,

I noticed that anywhere you can find Tracy K Barkers name you have to add a promotion to your book.

To me you are just like Jamie Jones, revictimizing a victim who is Tracy. I dont get why you continue to knock Tracy down at every chance you get in your bloggings. Though I would never expect or request to explain this to me because i dont care about your reasons, however you are no better then what Jamie Jones did to Tracy.

Karma can be a bitch. Tell me if you did not report what happened to you in Iraq why mention it now? It was your decision to ignore reporting this and talking about this and to write your book instead. This of course never makes sense to anyone I know.

Tracy is not stating she is the first victim she is saying she is the ONLY VICTIM married to a military man who was a victim and she reported this. Big deifference however you continue to insist on berating her.

Have you ever once thought that maybe just maybe if you would have reported this and made it public you could have spared other victims from going through what happened.

So the true question is could these victims have been spared? If the answer is yes then perhaps this is on your hands and you should write a sequel to that book of yours of how you could have prevented the women becioming victims.

Though I can almost guarantee this will not be the last time I see you promoting your book off the backs of a rape victim however the only one I have seen you rape a victim over and over again from your blogs of your promotion is Tracy.

Its amazing, you bring a victim down taking the attention away from a victim gaining justice for everything that happened to her because you are jealous, then promote your book with the words that you did not come forward which is all on you and no one elses fault but your own.

Why dont you do what other victims do for each other, support another victim, start a blog or better yet start a petition. Whatever the case may be which I am sure from reading your constant promoting styles your character is not to support but to revictimize Tracy (Victim) all over again.

You should look up revictimize and perhaps you will finally get it. Do you see tracy promoting herself to your website and blogs. You need to let go of your jealousy and contempt for Tracy who was a victim and continues to be a victim at the hands of everyone around her.

All I can say for you is you have some seious issues and weight on those shoulders of yours. It is not Tracys fault on the decisions you chose to handle what happened to you and though not one person should ever be subjected to a violation of the body I hope that you finally fnd peace in the depths of your soul and peace with the decision you made to not report the crime committed against you.

Good luck in finding a calm place in your life where you can stop bashing every blog with Tracy and perhaps promote yourself and book where it does not involve revictimizing a victim and promote your book in a good honest way as other authors or people who pay authors do.

Denise

Now, first off. I did report what happened to me. Yes, it took me around a month to do so, and only after the guy came back a second time, but I DID report it! I have also gone back over my post and comments and NO WHERE can I find that I have ever victimized Tracy Barker OR Jamie Jones. I HAVE however stated the fact that Tracy and Jamie are getting help. I HAVE said that I am NOT pursuing a lawsuit against Halliburton/KBR/SEII and nor will I. I HAVE NOT filed a DBA claim either on this matter and will not be doing that either!

I am sick and tired of being attacked and accused of “re-victimizing” either of these women. Tracy came to me and ASKED ME FOR HELP. I posted something that SHE WROTE HERSELF! When I mention my book in relation to this subject, it is because that is the only place I have talked about what happened that night and that is the ONLY place that I will talk about that night. Just recently I was contacted by a reporter about this very topic. I told her, like I told EVERY OTHER REPORTER, I will not talk about that night. I will talk about what happened after and the fact that we were not given keys to our villa’s or rooms, but nothing about that night. I will talk about how I was told to keep my mouth shut and not tell the other women, just like Jamie and Tracy. BUT, I will not talk about that night! I will not voice and have not voiced ANY opinions about what happened to other women!

So please, leave me alone! And if you are not going to respect my wishes on this, MAKE SURE YOU GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT! I am sick and tired of dealing with idiot people that do not do their research themselves to see what I have really said in a blog post. OR they are related to one or the other and are pissed that THEY did not get what THEY wanted out of their contact with me, becasue I wont put myself out there as a “rape victim” and cry “oh poor me”. Grow the hell up, move on with your life and allow them and me to heal! I DO NOT consider myself to be a “rape victim”, I am a “SEXUAL ASSAULT SURVIVOR”  and I refuse to be labeled any other way.

BTW Denise, I am posting this on all of the blogs that I have and write for so that everyone will get the message.

Written by WhiteRose

4 Comments

ladybug

Cindy, we both have simalar past, just differant ages,places and people. Iam a rape surrivor and assult surrivor. One was reported one not. Which make NO differance IT STILL HAPPENED!! People used to attack me as well, but I was fighting the Church of God. If I had writen a book about that Im sure I would have had people coming out of the wood work calling me a lier and calling me all sorts of bad names just like they are you. I never asked anyone to believe me or show me pitty. Only thing I asked was if they made comments they need to have the facts. This is the same thing. They go on what they hear others say and have nothing to back it up. Its pure gosip and nothing more.So if Miss Denise has found somewhere you have done or said these things then prove it. If not SHUT UP!!! Heres a prime example of people putting their nose where it dont belong. Cindy, You hold you head high and walk with pride!!! Fight for what you believe in and dont let some uneducated,dirty mouth, little tramp make you stop. I wish you the best in your book and your movie.We all know yo’re a strong lady and this e mail from little Miss Denise dont mean anything cause it has no foundation or she would have stated when she got her info.

Reply
Jana

Denise, First off your sister asked Cindy to write what she did on her blog. Not that it was a bad thing, I am so confused as to why Todd and You are on here? Isn’t this about getting the truth out on rape in Iraq as a female contractor? Have you forgot that Everyone is in this fighting for some type of workers rights. Have you not seen my website for PTSD, or the 1 hour documentary we did? Rape survivers are often, most times suffering with PTSD. That is what I have been working on for 4 yrs now. Nothing new! OMG, Another thing, you really need to go buy Cindy Book, but since you haven’t for what ever reasons, I will post her Rape so you won’t have to question or revictomize her anymore. Talk about calling the Kettle black here! And guess what she didnt’ sue, sought treatment instead and didn’t get it! Yet she is overcoming her attack all by herself with much support from family and friends and not by re living her attack daily in the public! She wrote a book and that is that. Here is what her books says in Cindy’s Words, I realize this will be difficult for Cindy to read, but knowing her she will be glad that someone will put this to rest once and for all.

WARNING****WARNING****WARNINGThis is not for Kids (under 18) to read

Cindy in Iraq Book-It was two o’clock in the morning on the night of March 9th. I was asleep in my room in the Safir, a resort in Kuwait where KBR housed a lot of it’s contractors.Somebody else was in the room. I didn’t hear him come in, but I knew he was there. He was holding a knife at my throat. He told me to keep my mouth shut. What happened next wasn’t really happening to me. It was happening to somebody else. I was just watching. She realizes in an instant why he was in the room, why he had a knife, what he wanted. “Don’t make a sound,” he is saying . “Not even a whimper. If you do, I’ll slit your throat and fuck you until the last drop of blood drips from your body.” She feels his fingers stab into her. She is biting her lip, trying not to scream. But shouldn’t she? Does she want to live throught this? does it matter if he kills her? What about the other women in the building? If she screams and they hear her and try to help her, will he kill them, too? She feels terrible pain. The knife is pressing harder, and so is he. He stops for a moment, looks up, and sees a picture of three boys taped to the headboard of her bed. “I’m sure your boys wuold like to see their mom again,” he says. “Antoher sound out of you and they will, but in a box.” When did she make any noise? She didn’t make a sound, or did she? She shakes her head–” NO! Don’t kill me!” —and as she does, she can feel a sting as the knife cuts her slightly. The boys! That’s it. She’ll think about them, concertrate on them. She will get throught this so she can see the again. “Oh God, he is hurting me! “She screams, but it is a silent scream. She is with her boys in a playground near her mom’s house. She can hear her youngest boy telling her that she’s the best mom in the world. The two of them are haning upside down on the monkey bars. He grabs her hair and jerks her head. What did she do? She didn’t make a sound. She asks her son why he said that. Another sharp, awful pain. “Because you know how to be a kid,” her son says. “And how to have fun.” He tells her that she is good, nice and tight. She laughts and tells her boys that she has the three best dons in the world. He tells her that if she’s lucky, he’ll visit her again in the future. Her son smiles and laughts as they swing onthe bars with the blood rushing to their heads. He’s going to o come back and do this to her again? She knows she couldn’t live throught that. They race each other to the sweings to see who cna swing higher. Antoher stabbing pain. Get it over with, she is thinking. Just don’t kill me. Even though she thinks he is killing somethign inside her. They boys are older now. It’s is Christmas. The oldest boy is telling her about the girls who say he’s a good dnacer. They want to know where he learned to dance so well. How ong is he going to torture her? How much more can she take? “I told them I learned to dance from my mom, ” the boys says. “The girls thijnk that’sso sweet.” His mom can feel tears rolling down her cheeks. Did she make a noise? She thought she heard something. He didn’t seem to notice. How did that nightgown get above her breast? She doesn’t remember him lifting it up that far. She asks her boy if he wants to dance. They look at each other and smile. Another sharp pain, but this one is the chest. She wimpers as he bits down hard on her nipple. The boys run into the living room and clear away the furniture. She is trying not to scream, but it hurts. It feels like he is tyring to bite off her nipple. The oldest boy cranks up the stereo. First, a bit of rock and roll. He is whispering in her ear again, but she can’t make out the words. they jam to the music, and the find some oldies. she and her boy take to the floor and do the fox-trot. Again he wispers into her ear. but this time she can hear what he is saying. “Get up. Come on and get the fuck up.” He leads her to the bathroom, with the knife at her back. He shuts the door and locks it behind him. He tells her to turn on the water as hot as it will go. She is paralyed. she can’t do it. He grabs her hair and puts the knife to her throat and turns onthe shower. It doesn’t takke long before the water is scalding , burning her skin. She wants to scream. The two toher boys are laughting as their brother and their mom do the fox trot. “Scrub harder, all over your body.” he tells her. Her body feels numb. He starts to scrub her, and doesn’t even flinch when he comes in contact with the scalding water. He scrubs so hard it feels like he is peeling off her skin. He scrubs down between her legs. God, it hurts. When he is satified that she is clean enought, he tells her to stay in the shower until he is gone. “You were a good girl. I like it,” he says. “now, don’t move and dont turn off the water until I’m gone. If you tell anyone about this, I’ll come back and you woj’t be so lucky. You’ve given me so much pleasure and I would hate to have to kill you” He opens the bathroom door and leaves. She turns off the water, sits down, and cries. She’ll never remember how long she stayed there, crying when she wakes up after this horrible night, her body is bruised and sore. She tires to call in sick. they tell her she has to come to work, because they are short handed. She gets up, takes a shower, puts on her clothers, and catches a bus to takek her to the yard, just like nothing ever happend. She can’t allow this to take over her mind. she cna’t tell anyone , because she doesn’t want him to come back.

Reply
Jana

Also one more thing, you should do your research. This has been going on for years in the military. On January 2007, According to the Pentagon, there were 2,374 reported cases of sexual assault against women in uniform over the past yearFor Female Soldiers, Sexual Assault Remains a DangerIn 2002 Survivors of sexual assault by the military, and supporters, go to “the Summit” to demand an end to the crime of rape and for benefits and services for survivorsNow ask yourself how it would look if our justice system allow civilian contractors to recieve more then the military soldiers who are going throught the SAME EXACT THING? Do you really think it will happen? If so think again and take a hard look at PTSD and what it has taken for the VETS to get what little they have gotten over the past 40 yrs.

Reply
Jessica

I can believe what I have just read! Tracy asks Cindy to write her story and Tracy’s sister attacks Cindy for doing it. I don’t see any where that Cindy has said anything bad about Tracy or tried to promote her book off Tracy’s story. Is this Denise a psycho or what? Tracy if you read this, you should say something to your sister about this. From what I have read on this blog, and I have done a lot of reading over the last few days, Cindy has only tried to help others. Attacks like this are why victims of rape don’t come forward. I wonder how many women have read this and if raped, will not report it because they don’t want to have to deal with being treated like Cindy has here?Denise, you should be ashamed of yourself! I wonder what has happened to you in your life that you could be so cold hearted!

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